The Intimacy Trap, Balancing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze excellent sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, making love carries immense meaning and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the chance to make love with somebody we are attracted to exceptionally hard to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , resulting in powerful feelings of attraction, excitement, love, closeness, and wellness .

When problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, this article however the sex is terrific!" They probably would not confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, states that much of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in urban areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

However, North includes, "I believe this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow useful site in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, click here now you should balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, worths, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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